subtypical: Odyssey of the Heart--Online Relationships

Awhile back, I made the comment in one of my posts that we should never disregard online-only relationships. The emotions involved are very real and quite intense. The sex, although different than it is in our tangible life, has the potential to be quite satisfying if one takes the time and patience to learn new techniques. Southern Sir recently wrote a wonderful post about tantric sexuality. I encourage everyone to read it. Eye contact makes it easier but is not necessary, so it works very well in long distance relationships. [I strongly encourage everyone (RL or online) to explore more about this method of relating. It's just flipping amazing. It takes times to cultivate, but it's worth it.]

To have a successful online relationship, one must be honest about boundaries and expectations. If you are married and secretly looking for the next Mr/Mrs. Right, admit it. If you want a combination of RL and online, or if you want a relationship that will evolve to RL, say so. If you prefer a fantasy relationship that never leaves the virtual world, that's ok, too. Just be honest with your partner and help them make an informed decision about their involvement.

You must be willing to experience emotions, sexuality and commitment on a different level than you have known. Be prepared to throw out everything you *think* you know, or at least add to your repertoire.

Online sexuality involves your mind, heart and soul. Your physical body becomes secondary (a close second!) to your instincts, emotions, imagination and mental processes. It can be exhilarating for some, and frightening for others due to the depth of the involvement with another person. Occasionally, it can bring up memories or issues they would rather not face. Just be aware that this can happen, it's perfectly normal, and it could be a good time to face those things with a loving partner [and professional help, if necessary].

There are several levels of commitment in long distance relationships. Will you be faithful only in the virtual world, in all worlds and realms or only in real life? Will the collar cover your virtual existence only, or will it include real life interactions?

Since the virtual world relates to the mind, the boundaries are limited only by you. Have you always wanted to try something that would be impractical in the real world? It's possible here, so you must be more than honest about your needs and desires. Rather than wait to be asked, you must learn to volunteer information freely.

The media, whether a chat room or virtual world like Second Life, becomes a source of communication for your projection. A virtual world provides visuals, which some find exciting and others find distracting. Don't be afraid to experiment to find what works best for your situation.

In the case that a quality online relationship moves to the tangible world, it challenges any preconceived notions of loving potential. Combining the methods of loving learned in the virtual world with the senses of the real world can result in a perfect expression of love. Or it can be a disaster when illusions are shattered. Care should be taken when moving to RL and I would suggest counseling with others who have done it successfully.

We know that quality communication begets a quality relationship, but in the real world our senses can often block the communication process. We kiss rather than talk, we hold hands rather than verbally expressing our tender thoughts, and just having sex is so much easier than talking about what turns us on and what doesn't. We presume that a touch can convey our emotions but a touch is easily misinterpreted. An online relationship forces communication which is why these relationships become so emotionally intense.

With that intro, I'm planning future posts about online/long distance relationships. I am not a final authority on the topic, so feel free to comment if you would like a particular issue addressed or if you have questions.

If you would like to share your experience (good or bad) concerning an online relationship, I will consider a guest post. Just write it up and email it to me at virtualerotica@gmail.com.

Source: http://1000milesinsl.blogspot.com/2011/06/odyssey-of-heart-online-relationships.html

square orangutan ayn rand lemur jane seymour npi benz